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Archive for June, 2008

Since I was young, I’ve been under the impression that the role of a parent is to love their children unconditionally; for who they are, what they want to be and most of all, how they appear. Parents are supposed to tell their children that they are beautiful no matter how the media portrays “beauty” and they are supposed to teach them that being happy with yourself is the most important thing. If this is the case, then why does my mother constantly lecture me about my body and its size?

I am not skinny. In no way am I saying that. Am I fat? I don’t like to call myself that… maybe other people see me that way, but no one’s ever said it to my face. I have a very good level of self-esteem. I am comfortable with my size, looks and how i generally appear to other people. I believe that if anyone has an issue with your image then that person is not good for you to be around. My mom has an issue – is she a bad person for me to be around?

Of course not…I love my mom, more than anything. But every four months or so, when we’re alone, she’ll bring up calories, then how i consume too many of them, then how i’m an “unhealthy size”, then how I’ll be 200 pounds by the time I graduate from University. The weight lecture then turns into how I’m unhappy, ungrateful and careless – since when is it her job to decide whether I’m unhappy or not? Tonight, she brought up so many things, called me a loner because I actually enjoy spending time at home with my parents for a movie night; suggested that since I never went on a date in my entire first year of university that I’m not interested in a relationship or “male company”, and said that any rudeness I show towards my parents and the fact that I don’t care about what other people think of me I must be unhappy. 

Unhappy, unhappy, UNHAPPY! 

You know what makes me unhappy? These conversations – no – lectures that I get from my mom. They just make me feel like I’m not good enough, that she and my dad aren’t happy with who I am and who i’ve become. I know that this is not true, they’re proud of me and my accomplishments they’ve said it so many times before, but that doesn’t mean that they’re happy with me. They’ve told me I’m beautiful; they’ve told me that I look good; but these lectures have never ceased. Why can’t my mom simply be happy because I’m happy

Sometimes I’m not happy with my body – everyone has their moments – but I tell myself that it’s not worth my time and suffering to dwell on something that just is. Of course, I’m not naive, body weight can change. But I’m comfortable, why fix something that’s not broken?

I’m healthy, I’m active, and I’m HAPPY. Why does my mom try to tell me that I’m not?

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