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Posts Tagged ‘friends’

a lot…

you know…there is a lot I have wanted to say recently about friends and experiences and the first week of classes. but as the first week dwindles to the last few hours there is nothing that i can say but LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.

I am filled with it.

I am defined by it.

I am BLESSED with it. (and trust that never in my lifetime have i used the word “blessed” to describe an emotion)

I am so overwhelmed by love that i find myself WEEPING at the thought of how much love i feel when surrounded by amazing friends.

I have never before appreciated my ability to love, my love of love, to the extent that i do now. I wish that i could emerse myself in it every second of every day.

It’s real…platonic…but so welcoming and warm and right.

I finally feel like I have real, unadulterated, uncompromising, forgiving, loving FRIENDS.

It sounds relatively insignificant, but to me it is huge, and wonderful, and life-changing.

Sad? Maybe…but we are no longer defined by high school and our friends (or lack thereof) but by ourselves. The SELF that we discover. The SELF who makes new friends. The SELF who is accepting and loving and wonderful. The SELF who LOVES, LIVES, and LAUGHS. The SELF who is not defined by others, but accepts itself and the others around them and loves them as individuals who are more complex and more interesting than they are.

I love. That is what i do.  I have finally found friends to love…and i think that’s probably the single best thing I”ve ever discovered.

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There’s something about early fall which brings the flutteriest of butterflies to my stomach. The slowly changing leaves, the smell of recently purchased school supplies and the jubilant cheers of the newest class at Queen’s make me so happy that I’m constantly on the verge of tears. Yes, I’m a crier, but I love the sense of community, sense of hope and new beginnings that this week leading up to classes brings. It doesn’t hurt that I am once again surrounded by the most amazing group of friends in the world.

Last friday night – when I was still in Toronto in a sort of cruel limbo between having finished work and the drive to kingston on Sunday morning – I was frantically texting with two of my good friends from school who were already in Kingston. These friends live together and at the time they were, of course, sitting about two feet away from one another, but I was texting them both in any case. Ally, (with whom I’m going to see HAIR) said to call her and when I did i was greeted heartily on the other end by a chorus of good friends yelling “SAMMMYYYYYY!!!”, “Come HOMEE” and “I WANT YOU IN MY LIFEEE!”. It brought tears to my eyes to think that there were people out there who actually appreciated me and my presence. I mean, yes, i’ve had a lot of good friends throughout my life and many groups of friends, but this is one that I think (and hope to the ends of the earth) will actually last. I’ve known most of these people for only a year (exactly, to this week, actually) and I feel closer to many of them that I have ever felt in my life with anyone else.

I had this discussion with several of my good friends from Toronto this summer. It’s not that we’ve changed since high school, but it’s that we were always the people who were different – who cared – in high school, which has resulted in the disintegration of friendships from the four years that we were told would be the best of our lives. I’m a friend person, I have a few really close friends, but i’ve always had a large network and cared deeply about all of them, so when I say now that I’m really not that torn up about losing friendships that I thought were quote, “lifelong friendships” in high school, it’s a pretty big deal… I mean, I’m a hufflepuff. We’re all about the friends and loyalty. But now I have a network of friends who actually share common goals and interests other than the basic human need to “belong”, which i’ve found to be the basis of most superficial friendships that are so ever-present in high school and even first-year of uni.

My housemates here are an entirely different story. I love them deeply. Yes, we’re all very different. And yes, we’re not as close and nor do we share as many inside jokes and even intimacies that I do with some of my other friends, but it’s a sort of familial bond which is so important and so comforting when you’re away from mom and dad. We come to each other for advice and for encouragement that comes from a deep understanding of what we want, who we are as individuals and who we are outside of the house, outside of Queen’s, outside of Kingston and outside of our backgrounds. It’s a family whose bonds go beyond a normal friendship, but we can still have an insane amount of fun together.

I’m just so happy to be back.

days until New York: 29

days until HAIR: 30

yoga classes this school year: 1

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Stolen from Rosianna

Real blog coming soon, I promise.

A

– Available: Yes, sir.
– Age: 20 minus 1. AKA Legal in Canada, what up?
– Annoyance: My stuffy nose and the fact that I ran out of tissues.
– Animal: I am quite fond of Owls.
– Actor: ummm. oh god no idea. Next question.
– Actress: AUDREY HEPBURN! I’m reading her bio right now and my oh my she’s fascinating.

B

– Beer: No thank you? If I must, Rickard’s White or Harp.
– Birthday/Birthplace: October 4th/ Toronto.
– Best Friends: Are lovely.
– Body Part on the opposite sex: Backs, Eyes, Forearms.
– Best feeling in the world: A Bottomless Cup of tea, Harry Potter and a Warm Fire.
– Best weather: Cold enough that I have to wear a jacket, scarf and maybe mittens, but no snow or  precipitation of any sort so I can wear whatever shoes I like, with blue sky and sun.
– Been on stage?: Band, choir, assemblies, commencement etc.
– Believe in yourself?: Not enough.
– Believe in life on other planets: I hope for it. It makes our life on earth make more sense.
– Believe in miracles: Again, I hope for them.
– Believe in Magic: I believe in the belief in Magic.
 Believe in Religion: I believe in it in the sense that it exists and that I know it has been the institution that all societies were built on, but personally do I believe in a religion? Not particularly no, however I’m open to all religious beliefs and the idea that a Historical Jesus/Moses/Buddha/Muhammad/[insert other deity here] existed. I’m a Religious Studies minor…I could go for days on this topic.
– Believe in Santa: I believe in the spirit of giving, cheer and joy that Santa Claus represents, so yes, I do believe in Santa.
– Believe in Ghosts/spirits: Yes, I believe in transparent lingering souls.

C

– Car: I wish. 
– Candy: Sour Fruit Salad, Sweet Tarts, Reese’s Pieces.
– Cried in school: Quite often, actually.
– Chocolate/Vanilla: Vanilla
 Chinese/Mexican: I’d prefer Thai.
– Cake or pie: Ice Cream Cake.
– Country to visit: I’d love to go back to England, and I NEED to go to New York, but next I think I’d either like to go to Scotland or Italy, maybe Holland.

D

– Day or Night: Evening.
– Dream vehicle:  I would really  like to apparate.
– Dance: Ice Dance, specifically the Quickstep or Viennese.
– Dance in the rain?: LOVE IT.
– Do the splits?: Yessir.

E

– Eggs: In my fridge.
– Eyes: I like them sexy, interesting and bespectacled.
– Everyone has a: story to tell.
– Ever failed a class?: Negative.

F

– First crush: Brian, ewww he’s so gross now. lol.
– Full name: Albus Wulfric Percival Brian Dumbledore…wait, what?
– First thoughts waking up: “don’t make me”

G

– Greatest Fear(s): Spiders, Boats, revolving doors.
– Goals: Too many, all of which I am not ambitious enough to achieve.
– Gum: Delish.
– Get along with your parents?: Most of the time.
– Good luck charm: When I was competing for Skating I always wore the same pair of underwear…yes, they were washed regularly.

H

– Hair Colour: Brun.
– Height: 5′5″
– Happy: Content
– Holiday: Christmas
– How do you want to die: Once I’ve done everything I want to do, lived happily and in a way where I don’t know it’s happening, so, in my sleep.
 Health freak?: Not really, but i am healthy.
– Hate: hate.

I

 Ice Cream: Yes, please.
– Instrument: Because I played it, alto sax. But I love myself a good jazz trumpet.

J

– Jewellery: Tiffany necklace and a claddagh.
– Job: Student. But I need one for the summer. Fuck.

K

– Kids: I hope so.
– Kickboxing or karate: Kickboxing. No wooden boards involved.
– Keep a journal?: I have, and do.

L

– Longest Car Ride: To Chicoutimmi, Quebec for Nationals in 2007. 14 hours, baby.
– Love: is confusing.
– Letter(s): are the best kind of mail.
– Laughed so hard you cried: not recently.
 Love at first sight:myth. Not in the false sense, but in the so magical that it can only be expressed in divine, mythical ways.

M

– Milk flavour: Skim?
– Movie: Roman Holiday or Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
– Mooned anyone?: No sir.
– Marriage: One and only.
– Motion sickness?: BOATS. omg kill me.
– McD’s or BK: Gross and grosser.

N

– Number of Siblings: zero.
– Number of Piercings: 4, but two have closed.
– Number: 10, 7, 4.

O

– Overused Phrases: “like”
– One phobia: creepy, crawly, eight-legged monsters.

P

– Place you’d like to live: London. No question.
– Perfect Pizza: Gerrard Pizza House.
– Pepsi/Coke: San Pellegrino.

Q

– Quail: man. Remember DOUG? Anyone?

R

– Reason to cry: suck.
– Reality T.V.: so five years ago.
– Radio Station: none. 

S

– Song: Maybe I Will – Julia Nunes.
– Salad: is what I’m having for dinner.
– Shrimp?: Cocktail!
– Sport?: Skating, soccer, Field Hockey.
– Skipped school: Not this year!
 Slept outside: Yep.
 Seen a dead body?: Of my dogs.
– Shower Daily?: Unless I’m lazy or sick.
– Sing well?: Decently.
– Stuffed Animals?: A husky, a bunny, a westie.
– Single/Group dates: Single. Not that I’ve been on a date in the past 3 years. Wow. That’s sad.
 Strawberries/Blueberries: Raspberries.
 Scientists need to invent: a cure for all maladies.

T

– Time for bed: now. I need a nap.
– Thunderstorms: Are the strangest when it’s snowing outside. Seriously, it happened last week.
– TV: HIMYM, Gossip Girl, Big Bang Theory, Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice.
– Touch your tongue to your nose?: Yep.

U

– Unpredictable: exciting.

V

– Vegetable you hate: I’m not too keen on zucchini.
– Vegetable you love: Red Peppers, preferably roasted.
– Vacation spot: Somewhere not hot or sunny, thank you.

W

– Weakness: Sweets.
– When you grow up: I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, wanna be in movies. Actually, not at all. I want to be happy.
– Which one of your friends acts the most like you?: Probs Jazz or Caitlin.
– Who makes you laugh the most: Neil Patrick Harris. 
– Worst feeling: Like you won’t achieve anything.
– Wanted to be a model: Nope.
– Worst weather: Slushy snow, or minus 30 degree weather.

X

-X-Ray: wild.

Y

-Year now?: 2009
Yellow: is the colour of my bedroom and the tights i’m wearing.

Z

– Zoo animal: Elephants and Polar Bears.
 Zodiac sign: Libra. Ohm.

Last person who:

– Saw you cry: Lara, when I finished reading The Book Thief.
– Went to the movies with you: Lara and Lynsie, Bride Wars on Saturday night.
– You went to the mall with: Alexa? I can’t really remember, it was over holidays.
– Went to dinner with: Mum and Dad, Curry Originals, saturday before school started up again.
– Talked to on the phone: Mum.
– Made you laugh: My prof in Hebrew Scriptures this morning.

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