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Posts Tagged ‘university’

There’s something about early fall which brings the flutteriest of butterflies to my stomach. The slowly changing leaves, the smell of recently purchased school supplies and the jubilant cheers of the newest class at Queen’s make me so happy that I’m constantly on the verge of tears. Yes, I’m a crier, but I love the sense of community, sense of hope and new beginnings that this week leading up to classes brings. It doesn’t hurt that I am once again surrounded by the most amazing group of friends in the world.

Last friday night – when I was still in Toronto in a sort of cruel limbo between having finished work and the drive to kingston on Sunday morning – I was frantically texting with two of my good friends from school who were already in Kingston. These friends live together and at the time they were, of course, sitting about two feet away from one another, but I was texting them both in any case. Ally, (with whom I’m going to see HAIR) said to call her and when I did i was greeted heartily on the other end by a chorus of good friends yelling “SAMMMYYYYYY!!!”, “Come HOMEE” and “I WANT YOU IN MY LIFEEE!”. It brought tears to my eyes to think that there were people out there who actually appreciated me and my presence. I mean, yes, i’ve had a lot of good friends throughout my life and many groups of friends, but this is one that I think (and hope to the ends of the earth) will actually last. I’ve known most of these people for only a year (exactly, to this week, actually) and I feel closer to many of them that I have ever felt in my life with anyone else.

I had this discussion with several of my good friends from Toronto this summer. It’s not that we’ve changed since high school, but it’s that we were always the people who were different – who cared – in high school, which has resulted in the disintegration of friendships from the four years that we were told would be the best of our lives. I’m a friend person, I have a few really close friends, but i’ve always had a large network and cared deeply about all of them, so when I say now that I’m really not that torn up about losing friendships that I thought were quote, “lifelong friendships” in high school, it’s a pretty big deal… I mean, I’m a hufflepuff. We’re all about the friends and loyalty. But now I have a network of friends who actually share common goals and interests other than the basic human need to “belong”, which i’ve found to be the basis of most superficial friendships that are so ever-present in high school and even first-year of uni.

My housemates here are an entirely different story. I love them deeply. Yes, we’re all very different. And yes, we’re not as close and nor do we share as many inside jokes and even intimacies that I do with some of my other friends, but it’s a sort of familial bond which is so important and so comforting when you’re away from mom and dad. We come to each other for advice and for encouragement that comes from a deep understanding of what we want, who we are as individuals and who we are outside of the house, outside of Queen’s, outside of Kingston and outside of our backgrounds. It’s a family whose bonds go beyond a normal friendship, but we can still have an insane amount of fun together.

I’m just so happy to be back.

days until New York: 29

days until HAIR: 30

yoga classes this school year: 1

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I feel like one.

If anyone read my blog before beda, they’ll know that I have had a LOT of disappointments this year. Nothing drastic, but drastic enough that I’ve cried a good amount of tears about. A few examples:

  1. I got cut from the varsity Figure Skating team at my uni. This particularly sucked because I had skated my entire life and besides school and my extra-curriculars there it was pretty much the only thing I did. When you’re so invested in something you generally want to choose when you stop doing that something. I didn’t get to choose when I stopped skating, the coach of varsity did. I still miss skating so, so much… it sucks. But, of course, I still care a lot about the girls on the team because some of them are my really good friends, one is my housemate (with whom I had skated since we were 7 <3).
  2. I didn’t get OC. OC is a position generally for third year students in ArtSci at my university who are hired after being Gaels to plan Orientation for the following year. I really, really wanted to be OC because Frosh Week at my school is the greatest thing EVER. I always put my heart and soul into everything I do, and this was just another one of those times that my heart was broken. I think I cried for about a week. I have a few friends who got the position and I still can’t look at their photos from OC events because it makes me uber sad, although I support and am extremely proud of those who got it. We love our OCs! We love our OCs!
  3. I didn’t get NEWTS OC. NEWTS OC is a position open to all students to help organise orientation for New and Transfer students at my Uni. I applied because, I mean, why the hell not? It was a long shot because I wasn’t a NEWT, nor was I a Gecko, so I was really just winging it. I wasn’t really torn up about this one, but it’s another to add to the list of my disappointments this year.
  4. Finally, I didn’t get a job at the Common Ground, TAMS or the QLC. This was the latest blow to my self esteem. I applied for a whole bunch of jobs within my school, two with student government services and one with the library. I tried to remain optimistic, like I was with everything I went out for this year, because I thought that I would at least be offered one of the three minimum wage campus jobs I applied for. I even got second round interviews and everything. The lists were posted today and, of course – because apparently lifehates me this year – I didn’t get any of them.

I’m not necessarily upset about not getting any of the jobs I applied for, I can get over that easily enough. In fact, I’m over it already. But I just so tired of all of the failed attempts and the subsequent disappointments that have come along with them.

I know that life is full of disappointments (good god I need a thesaurus) and I should get used to it because life gets much harder than this. But I mean, COME ON, UNIVERSE! Cut me some slack! In high school – and even in first year – I was just so used to all of my extra-curricular things working out; I was one of the big fish at my high school. Now I’m still a big fish, but I’m in a sea with whales and sharks and giant squids and nothing I do can get the attention of my superiors. Its catch and release. I take the bait, suffer for it, but I’m not quite big enough to be eaten yet, so they throw me back into the ocean that is my school with all of the other sad little fishies. I want to be dinner…

Okay, so its not a perfect metaphor, but you get my drift.

I just really thought that I’d get one of those jobs and I’d feel like my time here was worth more than just my degree, because that’s not the only reason why you go to university. At least it’s not the main reason I’m here.

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    So, here’s a story. It’s really not that exciting but it’s relevant to my post and therefore I must tell it.

    As I’m sure you all know, I’m away from home at university and currently I live in an apartment with three of my good friends, some of whom I knew before Uni, some I’ve only known for about a year or so. About a month into living together, for reasons I cannot explain, we all began to abandon conventional terms of endearment and began calling one another, “peep” and “peeps”. Since then we’ve all developed nicknames, for example, we call one house mate, “grandma” because, well, she is basically an old lady in the body of a 20-year-old; and often, when we tire of “peep” we call each other, “sir”, despite each of us being definitively women and equally as lady-like. The sentiment of “peeps”, however, has definitely been the most commonly used phrase within the four-walls of our apartment, in fact, it has been used so much in our house that it began to overflow and seep into our lives outside of our humble abode. We have all begun calling friends who are unfamiliar with our antics, “peeps”; we have even begun to call our parents peeps (that may just suggest that we are all strange and getting to the stage in our lives that we’re kinda friends with our parents, which may just be scarier than our calling them “peeps”).

    This is the point in the story when the title of this blog becomes rather, well, scary. But it is also where it becomes relevant. But, before we move on, here’s just one itsy-bitsy clarification:

    I DO NOT CONDONE CANNIBALISM.

    Is that clear? Okay, good. Let us move on.

    So today, one of my housemates received a package from her father and inside were some easter treats (she’s Jewish by the way, so this is strange for many reasons) with a note that said:

    Here’s a chocolate bunny for you…

    and some peeps for your peeps.

    Love, Dad.

    We all found this incredibly random gift extremely hilarious, because we know her dad, know that Passover technically starts tonight and instead Schmemily’s receiving easter gifts and the fact that her Dad probably saw the Peeps and bought them simply because he knew we call each other “peeps” is awesome in every single way. Receiving peeps is obviously ever more hilarious for me because of the vlogbrothers and everything, so when my “peep” opened her package I was doing my happy dance and “badoo doo doo-ing” in my head.

    So, yes. This was the most exciting thing of the day, or it was until I realised that I have actually never had a Peep. I mean, I’ve had things like Peeps, but I have never had an actual brand name Peep. At this realisation I began to panic thinking that I wouldn’t be a true Nerdfighter until I actually ate a Peep. So, like any nerdfighter would, I documented the process (on dailybooth). Don’t get too excited or anything, I only ate one, but it was painful nonetheless.

    2538b77c568633fb1dfaca4e6111d6801

    Say hello to Mr. Peep!

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    I’m assessing the situation… head first, or tail first???

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    Okay, head first. It’s more humane. At this point my grossed out face is more because I didn’t think it would be that… squishy. I guess they were fresh peeps.

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    It’s official, peeps are gross. I could hardly eat one, let alone John’s 12.5, let alone however many Kurt ate, or all of the peeps the Nerdfighters ate to make up for John! Thinking of all of those awesome Nerdfighters inspired me to keep going. Hoo, ha…

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    NERDFIGHERS! I did it, I’m proud of myself because it was gross. But I did it, that’s what counts, right? Badoo doo doo!!!

    Okay, now I’m going to go drink, like, ten glasses of water. I can’t get the taste of processed marhmallow out of my mouth…and I think there’s an eye stuck in my teeth.

    DFTBA!

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    Growing up. Everyone has to do it, no one wants to do it. Reality is a crappy, crappy thing, although there are definitely some significant pros to being a legal adult…

    I think I feel a pro/con list coming on! *gets out yellow legal pad”

    legalpad_comingsoon

    Cooking, ohhhhhhhh cooking. You know, most of the time I love cooking. It can be fun and relaxing and experimental; but when you have to do it every day and three times a day for the past eight months it gets so tiresome. It was fun for the first few weeks or so, but then I ran out of produce and had to go grocery shopping. This similar cycle continued, as did my cycle of dinners, lunches and breakfasts. I cannot count the number of stir-fries or falafels or quesadillas or bowls of pesto pasta I’ve consumed this year and on a student’s budget you cannot really afford to have anything more exotic. It’s come to the point in the year when I don’t want to eat anything because it means I have to cook dinner, and with studying you feel guilty cooking because you know that you wasted an hour feeding yourself when you could have been revising the New Critics for your Literary Theory and Criticism course.

    I know, I know, “welcome to the next 60-odd years of your life, Sam”, right? *sigh* I know, but I don’t want life to come! I’d love it if I could pause life in the summer between years in uni. I want an unlimited amount of time to read books and have fun being my 19-year-old self without the pressures of school and life and life after school. I want my dad to keep doing my taxes and supporting me and I want my mom to cook me dinner and…

    Okay, never mind. The comfort and security sounds great, but despite the constant cooking, monotonous meals, never ending homework and painful hangovers that are a part of college, growing up and making my own life is so incredibly worth it.

    but it would be nice if mom and dad invite me over for (at least) one meal a week.

    🙂

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    BLOG. EVERY. DAY. APRIL.: A project started by Young Adult novellist, Maureen Johnson for her desperate fans (and in promotion of the paperback release of her most recent novel, Suite Scarlett <– go buy it…it’s awesome), in which she’ll blog every day for the month of April. Many fans are joining her in this quest of daily documentation.

    I am one of them.

    April, I believe, is a good month to do this. Yes, it is busy with all the final exams and such but, in all honesty, it is really significantly less busy than the rest of the school year.

    You see, tomorrow I am handing in my last essay for the year (hallelujah) and then all I have are four final classes and then I’m basically free (aside from hours and hours of studying an entire year’s worth of material for three separate final exams) for summer until, of course, when I start working on May 4th. Since all I’ll be doing throughout April is studying at home/Stauffer Library/Starbucks, I figure that I can take approximately 20 minutes out of my day to tell you, my blog (because no one reads this anyway) [EXCEPT FOR MY LOVELY, LOVELY, FACEBOOK WIFE JAZZ! LOVE YOU DARLING!] , what’s on my mind.

    Sound good?

    Yes?

    Excellent.

    Well, wish me luck as I embark (along with about 100 other people) on this miraculous journey of beda.

    edit:

    Hello again, friends. I forgot about this little ditty that’s on Maureen Johnson’s original blog post about BEDA. It makes it more…official, I guess.

    THE BLOG EVERY DAY IN APRIL MANIFESTO

    I commit to this idea and am determined to create something EVERY DAY in April, including weekends. Every day, I will find something to say. I embrace the reality that there is always something to talk about, if you are willing to take the time to look for it.

    Samantha H. Porter promise to blog every day in April

    Fun, right?

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    Life.
    It’s coming at me really quickly right now and I don’t have the time to find the motivation to do anything about it.
    School is so close to being finished for the summer and I do not want to tackle the heaps of work that I have to do in the next two weeks.
    Two weeks. That’s absolutely wild.
    I need life to pause right now so I can finish all of my work without stressing.
    Can you do that for me, Life?
    No??? Didn’t think so, you useless piece of garbage. *sigh*

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    that my heart lies in london?

    I’m not sure why, but today I have been craving all things british.

    I’ve been looking a grad schools in the UK that have the program I’m looking into, I’ve been browsing Topshop like it’s my job, I’ve been drinking english breakfast tea all day and craving some Cadbury Fingers and/or Hobnobs and/or Lemon Dutchys and finally I’ve resorted to looking up flights.

    I’m craving London.

    Now, my love of London is something, like my love of Harry Potter, or Christmas, or tea, that never goes away. On occasion, however, this love turns into a slight obsession and the prospect of being in London (or England in general, I mean if I were merely a train ride away I wouldn’t complain) is all I can really think about. 

    I think these thoughts started to surface yesterday in my Restoration and 18th Century Literature course. We were discussing Country House poetry and discussing the 18th century country house and its role in british culture. This got me thinking of Pride and Prejudice, which then got me thinking about this house I visited while in England nearly four years ago (we left for England on March 11th! It feels like only yesterday…). The house is called Stourhead and you can check it out here. I remember seeing peacocks on the grounds (actually) and being in complete awe of this wonderful family home. This house reminded me of Pride and Prejudice because part of the 2005 movie with Keira Knightly was filmed there. So since that lecture (it was the only one this entire semester in that course that I have taken more than a page of notes) I have been on an England high and I can’t seem to come down off my cloud.

    I’m also really excited because two Christmases from now I’ll be in England, specifically in St. Agnes, Cornwall for the majority of the trip. We’re staying in the same house that we did back in 2005 and we’ll be there upon our arrival and through to probably the 27th, when we’ll head up to Wales to stay with more family up there for New Years and finally, we’re spending a few days in London at the end of our trip before we fly back home because I would not be a happy peep if we did not. 

    Although I’m super pumped for that trip, it’s so freaking far away. I would give anything to take a week off in May or something just to fly over there for a week or something and trek around England/Scotland. All I want is a week. All I want is London.

    london love collage

     

    <3333

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